My Mother and Technology

The day has come! My mother finally has a device that is more technologically advanced then a cell phone from 2000. She was afraid to touch it. Once she did though she giggles, delighted at the new found power. Things that I have taken for granted like e-mailing she finds to be a fascinating and worth while. She exclaims loudly in a voice proud of a new accomplishment, paying for something online with a credit card! I can hear my Dad sighing in his office. What was he thinking giving her an Ipad...

I never would have thought I would see the day when my mother would not be afraid of touching technology. Before if the computer did something she might gasp thinking she broke it. Still she is impatient with the Ipad. If something doesn't work right she gasps indignantly at the audacity. How dare this not work the way it should. Its amusing to me however she has an air of excitement that comes with it a new found amazement for me about the things I take for granted. I can't wait to see what she does with it next!

Life really is full of adventure. We make new discoveries in our lives that opens new avenues of possibilities. Its really a shame that we forget what made this stuff so cool in the first place. Things that made our lives easier become a chore and common place. Its like elk or deer at my house in Evergreen. I never thought I would get tired of them. Cool looking, interesting creatures then, now are just pests to me. They eat the flowers and are obstacles on the road that could total my car. Not quite the fury pets I wanted them to be. Maybe thats the problem. I wanted them to be something they were not. They still are cool looking and interesting creatures.

Maybe our stuff turns into something its not meant for. Maybe we just say "thats great and all but wouldn't it be cool if it did this?" I need to stop looking at stuff like that and be grateful for what it is. Cause after all, not everything is meant for me. That doesn't mean I can't and shouldn't appreciate it though.

Flawed Diadem

My voice when I write I feel is very boisterous and bold. It has something to say and it says it with confidence! In reality I am a quiet person. I am not sure many people notice me. This was especially true of me when I was younger. In Boy Scouts I became an Eagle Scout. When I made my speech accepting my reward the number one comment people gave my parents was "I never knew Jake could speak like that!". Its a small thing which I will come back to. The thought I will leave you with is "I never knew Jake...".

I am flawed I am not sure I even want to make pretense about that. In passing you might hear me say arrogant things that seem to suggest I have a HUGE ego. Something like "Why yes I am amazing!" or "Dang I am good looking." This is pretense on my part. I almost never feel any of those things. While these thing are true and do need to be proclaimed I am very flawed.

I am not sure if I am explaining the "flawed" part well so I will try and explain. Its not really me thats flawed its my diadem of myself thats flawed. Granted I am not perfect and this is not really about my personal sins. Its my concept of my sovereignty. Call it is arrogance if you want, however I am royalty. Maybe not by lineage, maybe not in the eyes of the world, however, I am not small. When I say my diadem of myself is flawed I mean I feel as if I were not princely or even knightly. I see myself in this life as a surf, peasant, low-life, deadbeat, riff-raff ETC... This is blatantly apparent when we go back to the quote I left us with "I never knew Jake.". 

"I never knew Jake..." Its so small not even a direct quote from what people say about me. However it speaks worlds of how I view myself and how I hide myself. How do I know this? I spoke recently at two weddings. One was a good friends wedding, the other was my sisters. The reactions I got you ask? Just guess "I never knew you could speak like that!". 

I knew I could, why on earth did they not? The answer hit me in simplicity and truth. I hid myself from everyone because I don't even believe in myself. 

The impact is huge. If I hate myself, I hide everything about myself from everyone. The cause: My self loathing. The effect: Nobody knows me. My talents are hidden because I don't view them as talents. My gifts squandered because I am afraid to be me. 

If I knew I was a knight I would have a responsibility to share my gifts for the good of others. As a prince I would never be able to be a king if I didn't use all my authority to be the man I am. Royalty and knights both need to wear what is appropriate of their office. They can not hide who they are otherwise nobody would recognize them.

I can cook, I make jewelry, I can take photos, I can write, I can lead people, I can speak, I can listen and I give great advice. I am an interesting person of many talents, who knew? I did, but did you? I am a knight in brilliant but scarred armor. I am a prince that just found out I am not a commoner. The world needs to know. I can not hide my talents anymore its not in my blood. 

Granted this is not easy I need to remind myself over and over. I may fall back into old patterns but I know who I am. I am not the common rabble. 

I am much more and that needs to show.

"Idol verses Ideal"

Disclaimer: I believe in the bible as the "living word". I believe it is important and necessary. I believe God influences it and uses it for his good. Please read this in the entirety and not skip over what I say.

So I was just thinking, (this is a dangerous pastime and should be avoided at all costs) and I wondered if sometimes or oftentimes we take our own guide and make it our God? I am not a bible expert, nor am I claiming to be one. In this circumstance I feel that the human side of us wants tangible solid proof of Gods assurance. That he exists and is beside us always. I am not sure that the bible is that or is supposed to be that.

Now before I make a ton of my friends worried and question me I want to be sure to say that I do feel the bible is important and a resource in our lives to understand ourselves and others better. Most importantly to be seeking God one must read the bible as it guides us in our lives. However so often do I see bible verses spewed out of context to justify a persons life. So often do I see that people treat it as if it were Jesus himself. Jesus was not a book. God is not a book.

The bible is probably the most read book of all time. Its a number one best seller! It's important history, meaningful truth, and undeniably, extraordinarily, implausible. There are things in the bible that are impossible to explain. Walls toppled without drawing a sword, whilst playing a trumpet. Gigantic stone pillars toppled by one man. Leviathans swallowing a man only to spit him up elsewhere (and he walked away from that!?). People blind from birth being able to see! People coming back to life! Oh, lets not forget its about this God fellow who sends his only begotten son Jesus to die on a cross for our sins. It is extraordinary, and very weird! How can something like this be true? Historically we find evidence of somethings here and there but two thousand years after Christ died its a little difficult to verify. The bible has also undergone several translations since then where meanings change and things get forgotten.

From an outside perspective: "This book is crazy and people actually believe in this?"

Christians have managed to put a bible in every hotel room in the country. They are reaching out to the world and handing bibles out to every person like it was candy. On the streets they bang on the bible and cry out "Repent your sins!". In court houses you swear on the bible. Its the swiss army knife of the Christian lifestyle. You can find a version and print that fits your life and matches your favorite shirt. As I said in the beginning is the bible Gods or is god our Bible? So often the bible is seen as proof that God exists.

There is no proof. Unfortunately there will be no proof. Its up to faith. The book guides people but I have trouble believing its anything more then just a guide. (Gosh, I sound like I am being blasphemous) The bible holds truth and there is no way it exists without Gods divine influence. It does not however do anything else. It holds no power without God. It is just a book without God. You could force the entire world to read a bible and without God it would never mean anything to anyone. Having the bible does NOT ever replace God.

Now I am not saying "don't read the bible", please read it. It is the defining guide to being a Christian and it is necessary to go back to. Otherwise we get lost in our misunderstanding. The journey we make towards God trusting in him and his words to bring clarity and provide for us. God uses the bible and influences our hearts. To ignore it is to ignore God. To walk without it is also likewise to walk without God.

You do not pray to a book however. Having a bible does not replace seeking relationship with God. Further more you can not justify choices you make by picking one verse or even several. If the bible is not taken in whole and digested carefully we misuse the truth we are given for our advantage. In the book of James 4:3 it states that we sin when we pray. Is it not true that we do also sin when we read? No the bible is not our idol and can not ever be, it is however our "ideal".

P.S. I know it looks like I just picked a verse at the end there and chose it to justify my speech. I am using it to explain my reasoning however, I am not going to ignore the bible as an example for how we live or must live. This idea of mine is not perfect and is subject to debate if you find fault with it please let me know I would rather have conversation then condemnation.

Christmas Music and Why I Hate it.

I walked into a store on November 1st this year. There was a song playing at the store you may have heard of it before. You may in fact even like it. It was of course “Dreaming of a White Christmas” by Bing Crosby.

Now, I have no problem with the song itself. I have no quarrel with the dude that wrote it. However I can not stand hearing it 2 months before Christmas. I am completely at a loss, I can not stand Christmas music anymore. Christmas is a time of year I run hiding from stores. I hate walking into a place and hearing the same 20 songs played over and over. 

Yeah sure, Josh Groban does one version of a silent night however having Brittany spears sing it next with a different beat does not make it a different song. Its gotten to the point for me that I feel Christmas carolers are just trying to be facetious because of the fact that christmas songs are blasted in your face for a whole two months before a specific event. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. I love the meaning and the hope that the holiday represents. I love the tender moments and the family together. It just feels like stores are guilting you to buy more stuff because you are supposed to spend money during Christmas time. I hate the idea that you have to do something and the subconscious attempt to guilt me into buying stuff for others or myself, leads me to aggressively fight against it. Its like stores are shoving stuff at you and saying “See this is what you should be like!” Or “These people are happy why aren’t you?”.

I wish it were easy to just block it out of my mind, unfortunately my brain has a habit of hearing everything, especially music. When I hear music I see, feel, and imagine differently. All my ideas come from listening to music. When I want to go to a different world I play movie soundtracks and instrumental pieces. When I want to hear poetry I put on lyrical stuff. When I want to feel angst I put on some teenage pop. When I want to buy something I do not ever put on Christmas music. I put that on when I want to feel close to people NOT products.

I wish I could feel happy or calm around Christmas music. I wish I didn’t feel like strangling the person who wrote the songs. It would be different if there was some sort of nostalgia factor but there really isn’t a chance to feel nostalgia about Christmas music when you hear it every year for two months at a time. There has not been a way to miss Christmas and I don’t think its been my imagination that stores just don’t let up. 

My solution is to back off of things when they get to be annoying. Take Thanksgiving, a holiday with almost a religious tradition behind the food. I love the food and would eat it when its in front of me but I avoid having a traditional thanksgiving if I can. In the case of Thanksgiving its about giving thanks for what you have and making the most of what you have. Making good food no matter what it is has been fantastic, in my opinion, better then the same old thing. Change can be a good thing.

Music isn’t the point of Christmas it’s part of a tradition that has gotten old at least for me. It has a place for certain situations and I can appreciate that. Where stores are telling me to buy more gifts and products, I think I will be making my own presents instead. I will make my own tradition and evolve the ones that are no longer working. I refuse to accept that music makes the holiday. It’s not that I am Ebenezer Scrooge, or the Grinch. I won’t stop anyone from listening to their music that they like. It might mean that I avoid parties and church when they play “that type” of music. As I said it’s just me. Someday I might go back. Someday there might be a reason to. Until then I will listen to anything but the traditional stuff.

The Irredeemable: Part 2

Its finally here! The second part of my review on villainy.

I left off with justice and punishment. In stories a villain needs to do what is appropriate to their character. Sometimes a villain does just that. In the Lord of the Rings Gollum is probably the best example of the irredeemable. (This is the books perspective not the movies) Gollum's mind is so far gone he is a pathetic image of what he once was. Possessed with the ring of power, he does what ever it takes to get it back.

Gollum is deceitful, dangerous, and deadly. He killed his best friend for the ring. The ring itself tortured him and destroyed his mind. Even if this is what he became Frodo felt pity on him. Frodo gave justice and forgiveness to Gollum offering redemption and peace, Gollum refused. But with out Gollum, Frodo would not have thrown the ring into Mount Doom.

That is where the ring itself, the soul of Sauron, backfires in its evil. It was meant to destroy people by consuming their very minds. In the end its actions and the actions of justice lead to its destruction. Gollum was possessed by the ring until the very end. He got what he wanted. The ring desired to get back to its master. By slowly corrupting people the method it thought would be the fastest, it destroyed itself.

Villains are not really the problem. The path to self-destruction is what makes them terrifying. Its what makes them sad. Suffering in their own filth, we pity them. The problem is that it doesn't look like filth. Very rarely is a villain depicted like Gollum. Most often a villain is leading other people to their deaths.

In the case of our world you wonder why leaders like Osama Bin Laden are so attractive to  follow. If Osama had practiced what he preached he would have been dead long ago by strapping a bomb onto his chest. He had an excuse, a way out that allowed him to lead others to their death while keeping his own life. While I don't think Osama received "Justice" he got what he preached.

This never makes us better or worse then others. Most often we are villains without knowing. We lead paths of destruction that will destroy us in the end. The heroes admit the mistakes and attempt to make things right. Frodo Baggins himself became a villain and nearly died for it. Villainy is subtle yet destructive it makes sense from a personal standpoint.

While I am not sure that movie villains are appropriate as the Irredeemable in children's movies, the Irredeemable do exist. They chose to destroy and to be destroyed. This does not mean that justice should not be offered. Redemption, forgiveness, and mercy are much more powerful then people perceive.

The villain is almost more important then the hero because it is them that are on the path to destruction. Only the villain choses redemption or to be Irredeemable. The hero is just supposed to offer justice. After all the hero does not need to be fixed if they are a hero they will do what is right.

The Irredeemable: Part 1

I recently watched Kung Fu Panda 2 in theaters and I found myself enjoying the movie for the visual elements but I was disappointed with the story. 

I don't want to ruin it for people so I will just focus on why I was disappointed.

The villain.

Generally you can spot the villain in stories very easily because they are overly cliche, and entirely selfish. Darth Vader from Star Wars is an excellent example of this type. He is an image of unapologetic villainy. Now most people can not relate to this so it is an easy character to hate. He is so evil that I would say most people would give up on the idea that he could be redeemed. If you thought Osama was a bad guy Darth Vader makes him look like a petty thief not even worth tracking down. 

What makes Darth Vader Interesting though is that he was redeemed. He did choose the light. He gave up his own pursuit of power and realized he had lost everything that would have made him happy. 

In Kung Fu Panda 2 and 1 for that matter the villain is quite the opposite. They are villains with some pride to be sure but they are no where near Darth Vaders level of evil. Yet they are completely unable to let go. This seems to be happening in movies more often where the villain is just never going to give up their power. Even when everything tells them "The battle is lost". In the end they always chose the path of destruction. 

They are "The Irredeemable".

I ask the question of if a person who is capable of destroying entire planets without blinking an eye of remorse can be redeemed why is it these petty villains are so beyond repair. Not to mention that these are supposed to be children's films. Personally, I hate the idea that redemption is only for the protagonist or the Hero. Maybe this is a controversial thing to say but I feel villains are never beyond redemption. 

Now does that mean a villain should not face justice for their crimes? No, but justice is not an easy answer to come by. After all what is "justice"?

In the Chronicles of Narnia, Edmond in "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" is a villain. A traitor to his own brother and sisters. Yet when he sees what he serves he is ashamed. What is the punishment for his crimes? After all he is a villain. Well, Nothing. He gets away with a heinous crime that led to the capture of Mr. Tumnus and the Revealing of Aslan at the stone table which has probably killed them all, and, well nothing. 

In another book "The Horse and His Boy"(My favorite of the Chronicles of Narnia series) Prince Rabadash attacks the kingdom of Archenland and the justice served by his treacherous attack? He is ultimately let go. Rabadash may not seek redemption but justice felt served more by not taking his life. Now there is more to the circumstances but you get the point. 

In each book justice is forgiveness and mercy. 

By both of these examples justice feels like the least self-satisfying things and dumbest concepts ever. After all there needs to be punishment. After all people need to know that you can not get away with crimes. Yet the punishment for both of those examples is death by all rights. Ultimately both of the criminals got away with the minimum and hardly a few days in jail. 

Why is it that those books feel so much more satisfying then the movie I just watched? What is it about those examples of justice that I feel nothing more needed to happen? What makes it that the Villain got what was coming and truly could not have received any punishment more fitting?

This is getting long so here is a cliff hanger for The Irredeemable: part 2

(note: This is a short overview and there is a whole lot more detail to be had here. If you haven't seen Star Wars, or read the Chronicles of Narnia: 1st I highly recommend them, and 2nd, Where have you been? Go watch and read now!) 

Please feel free to discuss and question my thought process. I am not an authority on this just observing my feelings on the matter and exploring the idea that a villain is more interesting if redeemed.

The Reluctant Hero

Man it has been a while since I last posted. Its amazing how hard it is to get myself to sit down and write.


There are many types of heroes and they all have their own unique qualities. The reluctant hero is one I relate to a lot. I feel they skirt the line of good and evil because they make a choice about something they didn't ask for or want. The typical reluctant hero is one that receives an enormous gift and squanders it. Holding back what they have and denying that it is a gift and not a curse. In life there are so many examples but I can use my writing as one.


When I was younger I was told that I have bad handwriting. Later, I was told I could not write well and should not consider it for a profession (this person went on to make fun of my papers to the upper classes). Even afterwards, I was told to give up on script writing cause lets face it you are no good(this was on my birthday). Its kind of a miracle that I do write at all. Now given the amount of negative feedback I have received on writing I am not sure if it counts when it comes to this example but I feel I have a gift for writing which brings me to my next point. Even if I do have a gift you would think that I would use it more often.


I like to write and even more so, I like to show people what I write. I want to know what they think. Do they think its good or do I have to rewrite it? Why don't I utilize that gift?


Is it that the reluctant hero doesn't see the potential in what they are doing? Or is it that they want to avoid being responsible and held accountable? I feel it can often times be a little bit of both. They are unaware that they have the gift and when they find out they have it they will very likely do anything they can to avoid it. Once the reluctant hero knows of his/her gift they make excuses, avoiding using it, they might even go as far as running away from where they are supposed to be. This is because they know exactly what it means if they accept the fact that this gift won't go away. They didn't want it. They didn't need it. They wanted a different gift.


The gift most often ends up being exactly what they needed in life. Not the fancy car, not the quiet life on the farm, not the supermodel girl who is as shallow as they come. It ends up taking them further then they could ever imagine going. They end up impacting lives and changing the world sometimes. Its not easy though and that is probably why they are reluctant. It always seems easier to do the opposite and just walk away, unfortunately some do. Some decide to be the opposite of what the gift is for and become the villain. The villain can be a person that makes the choice to just walk away. Or they can embrace the gift they have and instead use it for personal gain at the cost of others.


In the end I am left with one logical choice if I want to be more then the reluctant hero. It means I need to step up in my life and become more then I am. Use my strength and become a hero.


Examples of reluctant heros:
Jonah in the bible
Wikus Van De Merwe, District 9
The Fantastic four, (comics)
St. Francis of Assisi
Harry Dresden, The Dresden Files
Ender, Enders Game
Gollum, the Lord of the Rings
Han Solo, Star Wars
Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings